Good morning, Bristol! – Sept. 30, 2024

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Pigeon Hill | Staff

Posted By: Staff September 30, 2024

And P.S. Boats float, and planes fly but cars just drive. Treasonous!

Weather

For the most part, lots and lots of clouds, 74.

Letters to the mayor

Mr. Mayor! Mr. Mayor! Mr. Mayor!

I can’t raise you on my phone because the cell service in the manhole I live in near the dump is bad, and I can’t send you a letter because my postage stamps were cursed by that witch on Lake Avenue. As a result, I’ve taken to this publication because the Bristol Boondoggle has a vendetta with former MS-DOS users.

Against my better judgment, I walked to the Mum Festival in my grandma slippers (what’s a girl to do?) and saw you from afar. You looked like Wyatt Earp lost at Sodom and Gomorrah but in a good way, which brings me to my point. If my math is right (I only use whole numbers less than 9 and bigger than 6), next year you’ll have to raise taxes once again. Idea: can we do a fundraiser instead?

Edith Louise Cratcher

Manhole near the dump

Speaking of the Democrats

The staff of the GMB can confidently report that Democrats exist in Bristol. Woot! They had a booth and everything at the Mum Festival. Not only that but they were actually seen walking in the wild and talking to real people and not in tongues. What’s next, a candidate for office against Cara or Henri?

That’s a wrap

Just get in field goal range, Bristol.

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