Welcome to Election Day. Let the madness begin.
Weather
73 with clouds part of the time. The other part of the time no one knows. It’s a big secret. Shhh.
Heeeere’s Johnny!
Critics believe that if Trump were elected, he would not be tough against foreign governments. As a result, Trump recently announced that if he wins, he will immediately impose sanctions on the Hundred Acre Wood.
Polls show that half the country thinks President Biden stole the 2020 election. Nevertheless, plans are underway for a Biden presidential library. All the books in it will be stolen from other presidential libraries.
The latest GMB poll
The latest GMB poll of Bristol voters shows that those who own a truck and a cat and enjoy Chicken Pot Pies are voting for Trump in record numbers. Substitute quiche and any French tart for Chicken Pot Pies and the vote brakes for Harris by a wide margin.
Trump leads among hackers and white voters with facial hair over 60 who think his wife is hot.
Harris leads among blacks and whites that wear progressive lenses, young voters, and people who exclusively gave out Kit Kat bars on Halloween.
The candidates are tied among South Pacific Islanders, New York Islanders fans, and people who hate the Terminator reboot.
Ta-ta
Play nice, Bristol.
Before you go!
Help us bring back local news with a donation today. Local is where we connect. Believe that local news is important? Support our work.
