Good morning, Bristol! — Dec. 2, 2024

Maltby Street | Staff

“So fair and foul a day I have not seen.”

–Billy Shakespeare, Macbeth

Weather

Partly cloudy with 39 “Whatchoo talkin’ bout, Willis?” degrees.

I’m shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!

The Jets lost, again. Aaron Rogers causes more pain than fans trying to digest MetLife Stadium hotdogs.

The day the Jets actually win a Super Bowl is the day after the rest of North American sinks into the ocean.

What to do tonight

The following information may be disturbing in nature to some readers. This disclaimer is not intended to be a substitute for professional, medical or theological advice,

At approximately half past six, a woman, with her brain releasing a steady dose of Dopamine, will enthusiastically emerge from the corridors of 5 High St. and enter Room 3. She will seize the gavel on the folding plastic utility table and strike it triumphantly against the surface, thus calling the Bristol Library’s monthly meeting to order. 

Please, those in attendance, govern yourselves accordingly.

Boris, Darling

Don’t be so sad, Bristol.


Before you go!

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